/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Only show posts with narrations

[deleted by user]

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"Ugh, somebody just fucking KILL me already."

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My grandfather has the heart of a lion.

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I was scrolling through TikTok when I came upon that “Cut the Check” song.

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“Enjoy your meal, sir!” said the pretty waitress as she laid his plate in front of him.

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He regretted never getting to have sex with Cleopatra before she died.

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The are only 2 times people say 'you deserve it' is when you are famous.

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I decided to experiment with anal

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The children were happily playing and skipping around in the warm summer sun.

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My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hated and to burn them, so I did.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
[deleted by user]	10
"Ugh, somebody just fucking KILL me already."	10
My grandfather has the heart of a lion.	10
I was scrolling through TikTok when I came upon that “Cut the Check” song.	9
“Enjoy your meal, sir!” said the pretty waitress as she laid his plate in front of him.	9
He regretted never getting to have sex with Cleopatra before she died.	9
The are only 2 times people say 'you deserve it' is when you are famous.	9
I decided to experiment with anal	9
The children were happily playing and skipping around in the warm summer sun.	9
My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hated and to burn them, so I did.	9